im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
