im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
