found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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