Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
