Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
