doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
