I wanna passion pit in your ass
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
