You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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