I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Randomize
