i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
