Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
