i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
you traded sex for a burrito?
my being single is dangerous.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
