ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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