remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
