I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
How does one acquire holy water?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Enjoy the penises
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
