my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize