her vagina looked like bernie madoff
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
