I just saw a hot homeless man
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
