Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
The best walk of shames are on the highway
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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