Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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