it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
