Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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