well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
