Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
