The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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