I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
