i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
