dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He? As in you personified your dick?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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