she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
