So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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