Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
