like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
