I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
and she was petting her beer can
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
