Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
