I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
