I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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