I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
My ATM looks so different sober.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
A bitchslap is in order.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
