oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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