so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
