my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Its about making memories worth repressing
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
