i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
