She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
