I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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