Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
