She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
