Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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