ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
