Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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