i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
