There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
