It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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