i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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