I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
