My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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