i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
