3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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