you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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