My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
