She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
